You've Come a Long Way, Baby
I have a baby shower to attend tomorrow for Tom's cousin - the first one I've been invited to since we decided to adopt. In the past, I would avoid baby showers like the plague and find any excuse not to go. Attending them just hurt too much and was a painful reminder that I cannot have children. I'm sure the bitterness and misery was ever apparent on my face, so I just opted to stay home. Well, for the first time in countless years, I don't feel that way even though I expected to. I thought that being around a pregnant woman being showered with gifts for her new baby would still be difficult, but I've learned that she's really no different than me. We're both about to become mothers and I'm just taking a different route. A route that leads to our baby girl in China!You see, it doesn't matter to me now that I cannot physically have a child. Sure, I'm still curious about what exactly it is that I'm missing, but I simply would not trade the experience that we're having for anything in the world! This, my friends, is called progress.
posted by Kim at
12:05 PM
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12 Comments:
Congrats on your progress!! Even though I could have a biological child (I'm single so I'm opting not to go that route) there are some days when the thought of a baby shower makes me cringe. It just seems like i've been waiting SO LONG, and its more than I can bear some days. So kudos to you! I really admire your honesty (and bravery) I hope you have a great time at the shower. Eat some cake for me!
Good for you. I can never really understand what you have gone through in the past, but I am glad that you feel the sense of excitement every woman feels when she is about to give birth OR adopt a child.
That's awesome Kim! I too am finally in the place where I can hear that someone is pregnant, whether it's family, friends, neighbors, and not feel the least bit jealous. I do have one bio son, then we went through about 12 years of infertility before adopting Lindsey. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity for both journeys to motherhood, and adoption is just as incredible and wonderful as giving birth.
Very proud of you!
One thing I have learned in meeting all of you as I watched my daughter and son-in-law go through the International adoption process is, No child is ever any more loved and wanted than the cild who goes into the home of those wo are "pregnant by adoption". jmho but I would stake my life on it!!!
Go and take notes so that you can be ready to register when it is your turn NEXT TIME!
My friend told me "You get to a point where you realize it's more important for me to be a parent, not to be pregnant". That has always stuck with me and your post reminded me of what she shared. :)
Amy
I agree with Amy's friend when she said that there comes a time when your realize that you just want a child instead of being pregnant. This has been SOooo true in my experience. DH and I had 5 miscarriages, 3 resulted in surgeries. Once we decided that we just wanted to be parents and to share our life with a child -- everything else didn't matter. All the heart ache, all the pain, surgeries, etc. My only thought has been is why didn't we decide to adopt sooner. I know it's not the same for some people, but I'm so glad that I don't long to be pregnant anymore. HUGE hugs to you for getting to that place!!!!
Love -
Tonia
The no spanish counting gal from Florida!!! LOL!!!
Oh, ane one lucky Mama to Delaynee Ruth Hui from Fuling, Chongqing
Yes, it sure is! I've spent many years just wanting to hurl when someone even mentioned a baby shower. When I heard of someone getting pregnant, I secretly wanted to smack them! After my 3rd miscarriage I had to go through the pregnancies of both my co-workers right in front of my face EVERY day! I don't think people who can get pregnant at the drop of a dime can even begin to understand those feelings.
I don't know if I'm to your stage of progress yet, but maybe soon.
Congratulations on your progress!! It takes a long time to feel like you do, but I bet a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Hang in there, smile, and celebrate. Then when you get home pour yourself a drink, pat yourself on the back, and let us know how your doing. And don't forget to let us know when your shower is!!
You're right, Kim. It doesn't make a difference how your child comes to you. The love that you feel is the same.
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